You know there’s nothing more special than the sweetness of a little baby who is so tiny and lovable, needful and responsive as you’re holding them there in your arms…
Think about it. As you nurture and care for them, they respond with all kinds of signals of affection in return. As they grow over a few weeks, you see them follow you with their eyes. Then soon, they start breaking out into smiles and grins and next come those exciting verbal expressions of joy! The more you love on them, the more they in turn begin to give that all back in response to your words and caring nurturing love.
I believe there’s a lesson there for us all when we think of the ways we earn referrals and how we can purposely evolve a connection into a relationship that many times will produce an evergreen flow of referral responses in the exact way you want them.
Its human nature to want to give back…
So as you begin to identify who it is that might know people or have a network from which you might find new opportunities, you need to first invest in building and nurturing a relationship. Just like with a child, you need to intentionally “give” into that relationship and invest into it until you’ve built trust and mutual commitments or willingness to make the connection a two-way, “give and receive” type relationship.
One of the core emotions we have as humans is to want to return a favor or give a gift to someone who does something nice for us. This emotion is called “the power of reciprocity” and is described in the noted work of Dr. Robert Cialdini who writes in his best-selling book Influence about the ways we build influence in our lives.
Always be “building engagement.”
When it comes to seeking more referrals, you must embrace the commitment of nurturing the referring relationships that you have.
This means always looking for ways to be a “giver” into those referring connections. Then, you also need to make a dedicated effort to consistently stay in touch with your referrers, week after week.
I’ve seen over and over that the more you stay in touch and give, the more you’re going to receive in return. We all know this is how it works! …yet because so few people make a dedicated effort to do precisely what this nurturing activity requires, you’ll create for yourself a huge advantage that come with being seen as a giver.
Just begin this now…
So here’s what you need to do… Start out with a small group of people whom you feel are connected to the people you’d like to meet. Begin with just 8 or at the most for now 10 people. Go find out all that you can about who they are, what they do, what their personal interests are… and then make a small spreadsheet of these details.
Next, you’re going to reach out to each of them consistently no less than once every 2 weeks with something you believe is important to them. We call this activity a “touch.” Print an article, send a PDF, send a text or call with a message or tip or something appropriate about them, their interests, work or family. Mix it up, make it fun and personal and just focus on giving without the expectation of anything coming back to you at first.
These activities will certainly bring you closer together and more, build trust and drive appreciation from them back towards you.
Soon, they’re going to want to reciprocate and this will drive their interests in giving back and doing something special for you in return.
Do this for a few weeks and get ready as you’re going to see a break through in the quality of the connections you’ve made, and then you’re going to “teach them” how they can give back to you in the very best ways… that is by introducing you to new opportunities.
So get started… Love and nurture your connections like they’re sweet children and they’re going to become your biggest advocates and the best referral sources that you could imagine.
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